Contentment and The Competitor

Do you ever think to yourself, "If I win a race, I'll be happy."?

Or, "I can PR and then I'll be happy."

Maybe you are just a little more subtle than that... so while you are racing, you think to yourself, "If I can just beat the girl in that pink sparkle skirt..."

It could also be that you just want to cross the finish line after X amount of miles.

Sometimes it can be a bit like Aesop's dog-- except it's that PR you are after. If I get too greedy, I start back at speed work too soon after a hard race and wind up with a mysterious injury.

And even if you aren't into racing, maybe you care about recording data in a running log. Even training can become competitive. I personally try NOT to get into that kind of competition.

I am here to promise you that NO matter how GREAT that race goes, who you beat, how fast you finished it, or how far it was, there will ALWAYS be
       faster

               farther

                    and ...    more challenging

So, where do you find contentment?

Where does anyone find happiness in a target that is constantly moving? 

Where is that perfect place to rest in your ability and effort? 

These are thoughts I struggle with. But to be very honest, I don't struggle with them much during a race, when I am simply trying to finish ahead of the next person. (Physically maybe, but not mentally.) You'll never catch me thinking "Oh, I should let her finish before me".

It's afterwards that I look back over the performance and analyze, critique and evaluate if I did my best, and decide if I can be content with what transpired.

But if I am ever content with my performance, it's not for long. That's how I am wired.  Actually, I think that's how ALL humans are wired, especially competitive-runner-women.
Does the love of competition conflict with living a godly life? I am not sure.


The Bible says that we should aim for contentment.

1Timothy 6: ⁶ But godliness with contentment is great gain.

The Bible also gives direction to how to find contentment.

Philippians 4:¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

We all have a longing for eternity that is unquenchable. This longing is the source of all our striving, and desire for contentment. It can only truly be quenched when we are at one with the Lord.  

Ecclesiastes 3^:11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. ¹³ That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 

It doesn't seem possible to be fully at-one with the Lord (and complete) at all times here on earth.  So in essence- as long as we are running on this side of heaven, we will not find a permanent state of contentment. The BEST we can do is to find satisfaction in our efforts and spend time with the Lord:

- in prayer/communication with him
-or actively worshiping him (music, etc..)
-or (and this is the part I struggle with) by modeling ourselves to be more like Him, loving and serving others and holding others needs above our own. Self-sacrifice.

I look to examples like Jeff Galloway and Eric Liddell for inspiration. They will be remembered not simply for their great athletic ability, but for making a choice to invest themselves into others. I believe they understood where to find true and lasting contentment.

 Galloway, coach and motivational speaker once said in an interview with marathontalk.com that a turning point for his life was when he chose to pace another runner for a spot on the Olympic team.  At trials, he dropped out of a race he might have qualified in. Since then, he has spent the better portion of his life putting his skills and life experience into helping others.

 Liddell is best known for his choosing not to race his specialty on the sabbath, but then going on to Olympic victory in a distance he was not trained for. What is brushed over in the movie Chariots of Fire, is that he left his career as a runner to serve as a missionary in China during WWII and died in a Japanese camp after sharing the gospel.

It's time to begin a new chapter in my running story.

It's a chapter full of excitement and heartbreak, wins and losses, LOTS of growth. Maybe even some contentment. :) I am taking some new risks where the reward will be to see others find success.

Hope to do some running soon with this neighbor: a go-getter, and a grade school 1500M district champion.

 The tops of my shoes are going to get dirty.  But that's a good thing. It means I am spending more time in prayer. With His help, all things are possible.

Slow / Easy Trails & Overdue Faith Post

I had the opportunity this week to run outside of my usual Small Town.  I love running out of town if I can find a good place! We were in Salem, OR to attend our Nephew's graduation (Yay, Erich!). 

After the Domestic Violence Awareness 5K I raced in October, I had been wanting a chance to get back to explore Minto-Brown park and its many trails.

(Photo from Google)

The park system is on an island in the Willamette River, with sloughs and wetlands, fields,  dog parks, and forested areas throughout the park. There are several parking areas and miles of paved and unpaved trails.

I took off on a paved trail and took a turn onto a soft dirt one. The first 4 miles were on dirt, bark and gravel. My average pace was well below my usual easy pace..But I think that is to be expected for trails, so I relaxed and just ran and enjoyed the sounds of birds, the new views and the excitement of what or who might be around the next turn.

After passing a lily pad pond, I thought I 'd circle back to my car to get my camera, but the batteries were dead. Oops! 

 

(photo from Google)

I ran through a moss-covered orchard, trying to guess what fruit the trees might bear- thinking it might be hazel nuts.  It turns out that they were cherry trees...with no fruit and badly needing a pruning job.

At mile nine I headed back to the car to stretch, with many more park-goers there to nod at. Lovely place. I can't wait to go again!

Faith stuff

If you read here regularly, you might have noticed that I haven't written much on my faith recently. If you don't read my blog for the faith posts, don't feel obligated today.

It's not that I haven't been thinking about my faith, just that I have been struggling a bit of late. Sometimes there is a lot I'd like to write, but either no time to write it, or I just feel like it might make me look like a hypocrite. The last thing I'd want to do is put shame on my savior, and by even writing this, I wonder if I am. But on the other hand, maybe if I can be honest, it might help someone else in their faith walk.

Satan is very tricky and he knows my weaknesses. Lately he has tried to convince me that I am worthless, and not really saved.  This should make me want to draw closer to the Lord, but really, I have just tried to hide, spending more time focusing on running (where I feel like I can succeed) and less on my spiritual and other personal growth.  But when I am running, He speaks to me and cuts away at the shell I'd like to keep my heart in. A few times in the last month, I have stopped mid run, due to a sudden outburst of sobbing- sometimes out of frustration, sometimes because I know he is telling me everything is going to be OK...and to just trust Him.

Thankfully God does not see me as worthless (nor does He see you that way- if you are reading this, and this is your situation too.). He still reaches down to pull me out of the cave I would hide in. Music draws me back to Him. A new song with great lyrics, or just an intense melody with simple words, says the right thing at the right time.

Romans 8:1-2 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,  because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
^{Romans 8:18} I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Making Vows, Other "Stuff" - and 9 weeks left!

Running stuff:
Well, I survived the week!!! Another 20 miler done I am really looking forward to a "restful" cutback before the "monster month" of training that lies ahead.

Somehow I have managed to get through 7 weeks of  this training plan without injury *insert HAPPY DANCE here*.

At this point I am higher in MPW (miles/week)  than my peak for my first marathon (last May) was.
Yet, with Eugene training, I was icing Achilles tendons and the fronts of my ankles, etc...and wondering if I should be cutting back mileage.  I am a hard-head and went on through it. I know its a big blessing  not to be injured, and I am so grateful for it.
I am really glad that I slowly starting building my mileage after Eugene last year- so I have already hit the 70 MPW mark back in October. That has to help with the injuries. We shall see how it goes as I continue to increase over the next 5 weeks.

Short race?
I'd really like to do a "formal" speed check sometime soon and might throw in to a short race, if I can find one that doesn't mess up my training too much.

Hill stuff: (addressing some comments)
First off- I love downhills, but can understand not loving downhills. I love MY downhills. I don't know that I will love steep or long downhills on a course that I have never ran.
I hope the hill running and weights will build both my strength and my confidence. I  am still new to the distance and my habits have been to err toward holding back too much. My strategies are starting to change, though.

Here are some VOWS I will make publicly (to hold my bad-self accountable).

I vow to:

• get two more hours of sleep each week
• get intimate with my foam roller at least twice a day, 4 times if I can!!
• keep up on the weights through the first week of April.
• NOT MAKE PIZZA for dinner the night before a long run. It just ain't workin'!!! I will spare you the details, but will just say that I don't want to be inventing a portable TP dispenser for running with. How do people carb load the night before a race? I'll never know!!...It must be without fiber.
• No fiber after 7 PM. I don't care how bad that banana or chocolate roll is calling my name. I am saying NO!
• Carefully consider my training plan each week and make changes as necessary. (I am already considering redesigning the monster month to have a few runs broken into doubles. I will probably do this on interval days, since I don't want to break up any long tempos or medium long/ long runs.)
• Get to my race weight- but not really sure what the bottom line is. I know I am close now and have a lot of miles to put in.  I think things will balance out, as my appetite is really picking up. I made a REAL PIG out of myself Saturday and Sunday. I was famished Saturday night and made cinnamon rolls, without cinnamon- instead I slathered chocolate inside before rolling up and cutting. I ate so much chocolate in the process that I didn't feel like eating the rolls when they were done.
• Try to be nice to those around me who are not training for a marathon and have no idea how much I want to take a nap. =D

Also, special thanks to Jenn and Meg and Jill who continue to give me VERY VALUABLE advice regarding Boston. THANKS, Ladies!!! Any other tips are greatly appreciated.
I am currently wondering about corrals, since I have never been in one.  It will be a whole new concept for me- and I am not sure if I am going to be in the right one. I have a little research to do there.

OM Goodness! 9 weeks left!!!

Other stuff:
You might have noticed a few changes on my blog, like the header.  Nathan, my oldest son (6) took it on a road a few miles from home. Thanks to Tina and Slugo for the comments last post- I have had the hardest time settling on a header I like since I want to be pictured, but not necessarily IN YOUR FACE all the time. I think I am going to stick with the new header for a while. Maybe =D...


Also- I found a new blogger, or rather she found me...Niz at Run, Niz, Run! - Go check her blog out. Great stuff there =D.

For Believers
I also added a Christian blogs section. It's my goal to use my running (and blogging) to glorify God. In time I hope to get my "steps of faith" tab going again, once I can reestablish all the links to the proper places. There is also something else faith-related that I hope I can post soon.

Recently I was listening to a podcast from http://www.marathontalk.com/ where Ryan Hall was interviewed. Listening to him really inspired me to use my gifts more. He talked about all sorts of things marathon related on that episode, but the part where he discussed how he became a runner, and what he hopes to accomplish with his Hall Steps Foundation, was really interesting. In my opinion, here is a man who is humble about his gifts and wants to serve others. He understands that life isn't about running, but about relationships. It was worth listening to during my LR, even if with the "Click and Clack" of the marathoners talking before and after =D

For the ladies: the True Woman blog just started a 30 day husband encouragement challenge. I SO need this. If you are interested in joining me in this challenge, I would be thrilled. I am sure your husband would be too. ;)

And yes...it is VALENTINE'S DAY today! So happy Valentine's Day to you.

 I bought myself chocolate =D ...

Really, I have the best hubby in the world for ME- he fixed the sink and cleaned the garage yesterday (That's way better than candy or flowers) and he gave me three of the most beautiful boys in the world...and he watches them while I spend hours of running each week. Man after my own heart!

Just a song in a storm

Lord,
You know my heart.
This has been a rough week.
There is so much I could write here. So much. I have struggled with decisions and struggled with how to do damage control. When will I learn what you want to teach me? Still, I want to trust in your promises. YOU are immuteable, sovereign, GOOD, loving, forgiving.
I am so sorry. Again. For it all. For any dishonor I have shown you. Thanks for your sacrifice. Thank you for covering it all with your grace and giving me your wings to hide in when I would rather not face anyone. Only by your power will I breathe, grow, learn, find forgiveness and move on.

Praise You In This Storm lyricsSongwriters: Hall, Mark; Herms, Bernie;

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say, Amen and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands
And praise the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry, You raised me up again
But my strength is almost gone
How can I carry on if I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as You mercy falls I raise my hands
And praise the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

1600 Repeats and Time to Tighten the Belt (more)

The training part
It was cold (for here) this morning- right around 34F. Today's workout plan was for 10 miles with 3 x 1600 at 6:26.  Usually it takes me a while to warm up and sometimes I'll go 5 miles before doing intervals or tempo runs.

After 2.5 warm up, I turned around and started looking for the milepost. About a half a mile later I was there and beeped my watch for the first 1600.

Normally, the first is my slowest.  Today I kept that in mind and tried to put forth a bit more effort going out of the gate. I had a lot of recovery running time between intervals (would have liked a bit less, I wanted 800, but got more like 1200 or even 1600 one time) due to my pre-mapped routes and using the mileposts. This isn't rocket science (though sometimes I like to pretend it is) and sometimes we just have to adapt to our training scenarios. 

My splits were 6:05, 6:26 (opposite direction on same stretch, but on the money!) and 6:20.

Tightening the belt
Like so many others right now, my family is faced with some economic struggles. (I say this and realize we are doing so much better than 90% of the world (Praise God)...but it's harder than we are used to). My husband is in the middle of a huge work slowdown and has also had customers who were either slow to pay or just say they can't pay (yet).

One thing we both have agreed to do is to try to become more efficient and less wasteful of what we have- including groceries. Our goal is to spend less in this area, but still maintain healthy nutrition guidelines (and feed a marathon training mom!).

Jon asked me to write a dinner menu  calendar that we could use to make our shopping lists with. I was happy to oblige! When I did this in the past, I found it made meal prep easier, as I had the ingredients I needed on hand and I wasn't scratching my head for ideas at the last minute.



Have you ever used a meal calendar?

If so, what's your experience been with it?

What meals are winners at your house? I recycle a lot of meal ideas and my big problems is keeping things interesting and simple at the same time, while using food the kids will still eat.

My new BOSTON plan: A Leap of faith & A fresh start

I have been stalling about taking this step for some time.

Really, it boils down to trust: trusting my own limited experience, and trusting God to see me through training, whatever the circumstances (or outcomes) may be. This week I took a big step (for me), and decided to abandon the comforts of a training schedule made by experts (Pete Pfitzinger 18/70) and create my own training plan for Boston- my second marathon. Ever. (Can you tell I am still a bit nervous about this choice?)

Side note: In high school I used to jump off of train bridges and cliffs into rivers and lakes (even skipping a few classes to do so. Sorry dad and mom!). You would have a hard time getting me to do that for money these days.

Thank you to those of you who encouraged me to write my own plan. I don't know if I would have tried without my blogging support crew!

Here is a link to my new training plan for Boston: (click HERE) Let's hope it works! There is a strong possibility that I will go in and erase all the pace info soon, especially if I seem to have any trouble hitting the targets. :) Special thanks to blogger, Danny (he is a genius) who tried to help me post it as an image- I just don't have the skills or the software! 

The plan uses alternating hard/easy workouts with two days specifically for speed work. My peak weeks will each take me approximately 10 miles higher than I have ever done in a single week. I left some workouts as  "cruise intervals" so that I could assess the day before and decide what the best speed workout that day should be. There is a taper and a few cutback weeks. There are a few weeks where I run five days instead of six; this is to get an extra day of sleep as an incentive and body booster.

I started back at the weights last week, which drained my legs, but left me seeing what I have been missing. The plan is to get in 2-3 days a week of strength training on my hard workout days, leaving my legs fresh for the next hard workout day.

Today's run went spectacularly! Nine miles as an easy aerobic run- slightly faster than my goal (Gotta watch that!). I had peace of mind and great time alone with God. My body felt very rested after a "Christmas cutback", and I am glad to be back in a structured program, (no matter how scary it is that I am the author of it).

SIXTEEN   WEEKS   TO   GO  !